Happy New Year

Its been awhile since I updated, I have been crazy busy getting ready for Christmas, getting Wonder Woman who works a lot ready for Christmas, dealing with my new truck, and just enjoying the holidays.

I don't even know where to start, well my old truck had or has mold in it so we had to get rid of because it just made me so so sick. In the process of that we got me a new truck and the length of wheel base was just a little bit longer then my old one so the All Father has been teaching how to drive it correctly. I was parking it today and its like ok now I need to be closer to this side and now I need to turn at the last minute, and now I need to trust the truck. I could have made it but I was a bit nervous.

Christmas was wonderful, I finally got to give the All Father his gift. I'll post it on my Poppets FB soon, but I cross stitched his cats. It was a challenge I swore up and down while doing it that I had no idea how to cross stitch at some points. It came together so well and I was so excited to give it to him. Its always fun to see him open his gifts. Other wise Christmas was pretty low key.

My health has been pretty level. My lungs are still bouncing back from the lung infection I got from the mold. There still pretty junky, and im still a bit exhausted from all of it. There not back to where they were before but thats ok. I will get them back. I really need to get back into yoga and get them sorted out properly. I saw my nurse today that told me my animia was stable so we are good there. I need some good news to end the year.

So much has gone on over the past couple of months, the death, the stuff with my bro, my health, the truck, and just trying to balance all of this. Coping with the loss of someone who was a huge part of my life, someone that made me who I am, and no one knowing I existed in their life at the same time. Traveling to my favorite location and just letting all of that go, and just being present with people that love me and matter.

The All Father texted me the week or a few days before Christmas and he told me this new year is going to be the best, we are going to make it the best, and we are going to enjoy it. We are going to make choices that lead to this as well. Cut out the negative and run with the positive. Embrace life, love life, and be thankful every day.

Love Yall
~Poppet

Long Week

So the sunroof on my truck had been leaking for awhile. I won't get into my vent session about this but it got to the point my truck was growing or is growing mold. Mold is bad for people in general but lets at CF and POTS to the mix and you got a general disaster. Two weeks ago I do believe, maybe three because we had a to wait a week to get her into the shop to get the sunroof fixed I went to Michaels. I was having some issues breathing and my face was flushed and I wrote it off as oh it was just Michaels during Christmas season, and I had texted Wonder Woman and the All Father that day. So to my horror the DMC floss I got off amazon was indeed not DMC so I went back with Wonder Woman that weekend and I was breathing fine... But why would this be a cue to listen to me. Accept the All Father, he did listen and said look this is affect your breathing theirs mold don't do the repairs get rid of it.

So we've had this truck since 2000, it became mine quite a few years ago an it was my main truck to drive. We got her brand new off the lot and its only ever been ours so I did also want to keep her because she's held a very strong place in my heart. Take her into get fixed, the guy who did my sunroof told us their is indeed mold in the truck (my breathing should have been the first clue but not venting). So of course I call Wonder Woman, start looking for places to clear the mold and such while trying to game with Spider Maker (thank you for being so patient with me). At this point I am just frustrated and ready to cry. She finally text me to get advice from the All Father which I could predict that convo, we were looking at hundred of dollars worth of repairs not taking into consideration my CF and how this is affecting my breathing. Im sure you see where this is going. Yep we had to get rid of our pride and joy.

The guy I was test driving out new girl with was listening to all of this. It reminded him to check his sunroof and clean it out because this is a very very common thing to happen with sunroofs. The tracks that drain the water get clogged up. I took mine over to the all father and we found out then the sunroof didn't even open.

My lungs are doing okish, I'm generally just exhausted and had to cancel many appointments over this but thats ok I can reschedule them all.

Love Yall
~Poppet

Sorry I didn’t update yesterday, maybe it’s been 2 days?? I’ve been busy and tired!! High elevation, and walking up hills!! It’s been a lot on me but I’ve been doing ok at the same time because the air is so so clean.

Two days ago, we toured the battlefields!! I was thinking about the war side who was where, and who was doing what. I love the movie Gettysburg and we were placing locations and wondering where someone’s ashes were spread. I was struggling walking up hills but not letting it stop me. I couldn’t imagine walking up a hill like that, starved, and people firing at me. It’s horrific and heart breaking. Us Virginians wanted to find out where our monument was at and what was over there. It took us forever but we did find it. And a few other statues as well it was the first time I had been back that way!! There’s a pic floating around of me at Devils Den to.

Yesterday, we did to museums they were so so cool and I’d never seen either of them before. We got to see the civilian side of the word and gave us a side we never thought about. The 7,000 thousand dead bodies after the war in a hot summer day plus the animals?? And all that laid wounded. They had to indure all that for months. The house we were at were taking over by confederates who ransacked the place in a sense and it was turned into a hospital. We also went to another museum that sorta showed the hospital side of that. Someone really should not let me walk up 4 flights of stairs again an exhausting day, we did some shops and found some haunted grave yards. Yes I am that girl lol!! Loved haunted things and history but we always come in love and light.

Today, oh gosh today. Mr A check out my insta the train is on there (lilcriss3) we got to rise on a old steam engine!! Ok so this wasn’t thought out, open car, smoke ran steam engine, and the cold. I was bit congested and wheezie from all the smoke, it wasn’t bad going up but coming back down it was awful tho i am very much so ok, sitting off my oxygen even and the view was gorgeous!! We made it a place called Hanover Junction and it so far has been the only place I could eat safely with out me cooking it. It was Italian ice and it was so so good!! Such a gorgeous train to.

But I’m going to hop off here,
Love Y’all
~Poppet

Fun

Apparently last nights blog just posted, I didn’t realize that. I’m once again on my phone so this shouldn’t be long either, sorry for the short version of this stuff at the moment been a mix between busy and tired. I have learned that my lungs do not do hills!! Does that stop me?? Well no not really I have been and do where my oxygen. Today we went to see the panorama and listened to the history of the civil war. In general not just this area, my area was on there to. I learned a lot of stuff and took some pics. I have some posted on insta.

So for those who don’t know me, I love history all kinda of history but specifically haunted history. Yes how shocking the little goth girl loves haunted stuff. I have found haunted stuff every where!! It’s just so wonderful I also found (on display in a museum) historic clever and chef stuff from the civil war. You typical see the medical side which now a days seems barbaric but they didn’t have what we have today. Seeing how truly tiny the uniforms were amazed me!! We also walked the cemetery and such which is so so serene and peaceful. I also found a cook book about the culinary history of the war.

We basically just walked around today to find stuff and just look. It poored this morning, and we have been cooking or own meals and such. Which I’m more then ok with it’s safer and better for my body really. Tho I did notice they don’t have anything gluten free, I’m “intolerant” to it in a sense tho they do have food allergy stuff here. I can’t wait to walk battlefields. This is one of my favorite places to be. Tho. I’m exhausted and do need to get meds and stuff done.

Love Y’all
~Poppet

Travel

So I’m on my phone and this won’t be to long until I get my computer on and running. Traveling with CF and POTs is a lot and we packed an entire truck with medical supplies. I wish I was kidding but it was full of medical supplies and I’ve been sitting on the floor playing cards. You can follow my stuff in Instagram at lilcriss3 or maybe FB but def insta lol I’m heading off for the night tho

Love y’all
~Poppet 

funeral

Yesterday was the funeral, it was with estranged family, that had no idea that I was on oxygen or had an IV in my chest. Not that it should matter but some were visibly taking a back by my appearance. Some of the family new that I have always been the goth girl and I didn't "grow out of it" tho I picked out the nicest clothes I had for 90 degree weather, tho part of my sleeve was showing, but you know I got thru most of this ok. I learned catholic funerals are beautiful. I learned that my long lost aunts husbands remember m fascination with black squirrels. Ok no they really exist go google them. I love them!! There jet black. I had been talk to that aunt on FB the last two days and thanked her for being there for said person while he passed and I was glad he was at peace because I know how painful lung disease and infections can be.

I was ok until a point and I'm not sure how much I want to say on this. But the person that died put me and my family thru hell. HELL. I didn't want anything to do with him. I sorta knew some of this health stuff was going on a year ago when a nurse reached out to my me thru Grandma. I had texted the All Father who told me, make sure your making a decision you can life with not one based off emotions. This is solid life advice. Take a step back and make a decision not based off emotions. A lot of this stuff that was said thru the nurse was so hard to hear and so hard to believe because they weren't seeing the other side of it. And my visible sobbing didn't stop the comments and conversation. I also saw an uncle that told me he would make sure me and my brother were taking care of, I asked him kindly please just take care of my brother do not worry about me and if he needed any help from me and Wonder Woman we are phone call away and we will do what he can to help us. If you know me personally I am sure you can guess who died.

I was promptly removed from the situation and my family that went with me came over and helped me sort some of my emotions. And we all will come together to support my brother and what he needs. I was also texting the All Father and he said this to me. If you experience a flux of emotion use them as a learning experience to grow in light, everything we experience makes us better.

Love Y'all
~Poppet

Emotions

This is just gonna be an emotional jumble session, this is no way health related. I was sitting in bed earlier nose in my book that Ive almost knocked out in a week and my Grandma comes in and tells me someone wanted to talk to me and it was up to me what to say, on a whim I said ok. She didn't recognize my voice but I knew hers. I worked well volunteered at the hospital with her years back. I wasn't even 16. She told me Kens dead. I still won't give to much info about him. Whether its to protect me or him I don't know. He's my brothers dad though and our history was hell. I knew he was sick and my family as you know from last blog made a choice to say no on my behalf and never said other wise out of choice. She was pooring her heart out to me as I just sobbed on the phone. My lungs still hurt and my eyes burn with tears. And it hurt so bad to hear how much he said he loved me. When the last thing I ever heard was how much he never wanted me because I have been sick me entire life.

All of the emotions and all the hell I have been thru with him is still so raw all these years later, I cry for myself out of loss and all these memories. The worry for my brother, the split decision to go to a funeral with estranged family that barely know and not even sure what they think of me. I really hope the said nurse I was talking to earlier is going to be there because I know she'll support me. I have her reaching out to family for me.

I guess I need to get off of here tho and try to sleep take some Benadryl even to keep the puffiness in my face down?? I don't know.

Love yall
~POppet 

Life

Yesterday I was faced with the realization that some in my family that I haven't seen in years is dying. Well he's in the ICU with pneumonia and cancer, he's refusing a vent, and all family has been called. So this is sorta more my brothers family then mine but at the end of the day I will make my self available for him. Heres where all this gets sticky and I have no idea why I am put this on my blog tho few of you know who I really am. But here we go.

So this person has made my life hell until I got away from him and just found its OK to cut ties with people who do not belong in your life. He tore me down at every chance and just always told me I was just to sick to be in their life. Which this way before my lungs were even at the state they are now. One of his friends called my Grandma and asked if I wanted to come see said person, and she and Wonder Woman both quickly declined on my behalf and then told me about this. Which I mean they weren't wrong to do so. I texted the All Father then and yesterday as well and he always encourages me to make the right decision whatever I feel in my soul is right. Not what my emotions are telling me to do. I did end up declining and yesterday to. Its such a strange awful situation but its something I feel in my heart is right.

I had already made plans to game with Spider Maker which sorta got some tears yesterday, because my heart breaks for my brother. He also knows more in-depth into all this cause Im leaving a lot of details out of this and assures me I need to do what's right for me. You see emotions have an effect on your health. You have to do what is right for yo, you have to do what's best for your soul. I think the best advice I have been giving on this is to close yours eyes, put your hands over your heart, take a deep breath and the first thought its how you feel. Ok so this may go hand in hand with my meditation practice but its helped me a lot over the years.

I forgave this person a long time ago, I didn't want to carry that hurt and sadness with me. Life can hand you a lot of things but its how we grow from that. We can let our past and people hardening us or we can forgive and let go. Forgiveness is such a powerful thing. You don't need to contact them or let them know but its so important that you find forgiveness in your heart.

Life is hard, its short, its wonderful, its amazing, and its beautiful. Find what moves your soul and allows peace and happiness to be present

Love Y'all
~Poppet

Small update

I haven't updated this in awhile, more so because nothing really has been going on. I have been trying to knock out a bunch of cross stitch so I can just enjoy the week with Wonder Woman. I have one the last thing to order for halloween but I think all is set for that day. Yellow blush from NYX in matte and shimmer it'll complete the look. I got the hardest cross stitch done tho, it was one stitch here and there for hours on end. I can't post them yet as the All Father might read this and he does have access to social media but I am so proud of how that came out. Id love to make a living off doing cross stitch cause I do enjoy it. The All Father loves hand made gifts too.

Other then that I have been gaming with my friend a bit, I got a text early this week that the game we had been talking about was super on sale and that it was in my steam inbox. Oh my gosh. This game is HARD Three hours and three classes later I got thru the boss, but we have been co-oping the game to help me because its a tough game to get thru. Like one hit bosses and the only strategy that exist is dodging. Thats it.

As for my health, its been OKish. I had a small lung infection recently after a week of rain and then we got hit by a hurricane. It sorta skirted around us but it still had an effect on my lungs. I could barely breathe and eat at the same time but we all expected that to happen. My lung typically do not handle weather like that at all. This week its a full moon which has an effect on my POTS so its good I've been gaming this week, I did yoga yesterday and struggled thru it. But other wise I've been doing ok.Yes its ok is you struggle thru things you typically don't. Its ok if some days its hard to get thru simple task what matters is that you do it. It doesn't matter how long it takes it, the end result is what matters. The feeling of accomplishment is wonderful. I would love a good work out but even the smalls ones matter.

But I must get off here and finish breathing treatment and chest pt. Gotta keep theses lungs clear and the mucus thin.

Love Yall
~Poppet

update

Its been awhile since I have been on here. I had PFTs which I do believe showed my lungs are stable but proves I physically can not take a deep breath in, and I also had CF clinic. So I have been busy and super tired. Now the heat of the summer has hit its peak and needless to say I can not breathe. I've had to momentarly had to pause part of my life. I don't mean that to be sarcastic but the only things I can do is cross stitch, read, games, and the such and that in between laying down to rest. But someone asked an incredibly good question about the heat.Why does it affect me and why don't meds work to help it. Well they do but if it only was that simple.

So I do meds every day, a few times a day, all year around. So yes when we go somewhere all that stuff has to come with me.  IVs, neb, stuff for chest pt, medications, and anything else I could possibly need to get thru a day or night somewhere. But the heat mixed with humidity makes the air really thick. You hear people with out lung disease complain about this. Now imagine having lung disease on top of all that. Then I get dehydrated extremely easily. Which that causes my secretions to become almost like cement. And though I stay in a cool area of the house, I do not exercise, and do what ever I can to stay cool the outside elements still effect me. I also have 2 diseases that depletes the salt in my body so Im constantly taking salt in. The simple answer is yes dehydration. Medication does help but only so much.

Outside of being busy and trying to keep up with everything nothing much has really been going on. I am waiting to be approved for genetic testing so we can see if I can extend my life. No no its not a miracle cure but added years is something we all strive for. CF is a terrible harsh disease and though we can not stop the process of destruction essentially we can slow it down. Which what we all want. The funny thing about life is no matter what we do to alter things, life is still going to happen the way it is supposed to. We can't control or predict things. We can simply embrace and accept life for what it is. I personally love life and the amazing things it has brought me. But I'm going to hop off of here and take advantage of the little time I have before the heat takes over.

Love yall
~Poppet

Dear CF

So often you hear all the sad and heart breaking things that come with you. You here how you taking children way to soon and parents raise kids knowing all to well the fate you have laid upon us. Your usually the sadness in peoples eyes, and the apologies you here soon after. But what they don't see is how much you have taught us. 

You have taught me and those around me to be present in a moment. Put the phone down and truly pay attention to those around you. Listen to them like truly listen to them. Hear what they have to say, technology can wait, social media does not need to updated, some texts can wait and phone calls can be returned. 

How to love unconditionally setting no standards of what people should live up to. You know sometimes "your best" is simply breathing at times and we all have bad days, every last one of us. We never know what someone else is going thru. So often we expect people to drop what they are doing and demand us to be fully there when our souls need rest and thats truly ok.

It has taught to truly accept who I am and who people around me are. There is so many things about you I can not change. The coughing, the pills, the meds, and it truly has taught me to look inside and accept my life for what it is. We can not change certain aspect of our lives. There are things about us that simply just the way we are and we need to embrace it. Be who you are meant to be and not what society wants you to be. 

You have taught me to be thankful for every single and for the people around who choose to love me. I have been so blessed to have so an amazing interesting life. You can be difficult, challenging and down right heart breaking but thank you for teaching me who I really am.

Love

~Poppet

Memorial Day

Its been a busy week for the most part, I went to a cook out on Monday and though I never eat at them because of my food allergies, I did enjoy myself. They all offered to go inside for me and my lungs but it was by a river or really a channel of sorts, I opted for the shade of a tree to breath in the fresh air and any salt in that water would help loosen my lungs. I got to spend it with family and though they are always nice and always offer safe foods the All Father goes by the motto "you didn't bring you don't eat it." Theres a lot of risk in eating foods you do not prepare for yourself even though they are versed in food allergies cause of their daughter.

We were sitting their talking and I used to baby sit their daughter when we were both much younger, they had family get togethers and I use to baby sit her. Oh I still lover her she's such an amazing person and very talented artist. I dont remember how old she was but she was young young and I use to love well still love the Rocky Horror Picture show and that's what really got me into makeup and when I put it in she would sit still the entire movie and just watch it. Yes yes I know not a very good influence but we both still love it to this day.

While we were at the house, they got out this game called corn hole, and I'm not sure fully of the rules and point system but after watching them play for a bit me and the All Father decided lets play around. I had no idea it was a physically demanding game but we did really good for the first time playing we were only a couple points behind and I got to catch up with one of the neices (his not min). I just love spending time there. I was exhausted and I got bit my mosquitos but it was so worth it. I got a text that night from the All Father making sure I didn't go into some weird reaction from bites even though I had huge welts from them. I was fine, and just now feel rested after a long week. But it was so worth it. I truly enjoy spending time with that part of my family.

I have another busy day in front of me, I need to wash makeup brushes and my hair, get some yoga in, and get things sorted for this weekend.

I love y'all
~Poppet 

Bit Long

Sorry I have been MIA on here, life has been busy but quiet all at the same time. Wonder Woman works a LOT and I mean a lot so I tend to run errand and stuff for her. Which actually meant a trip to Ulta... OK for those of you who don't know what Ulta is its a makeup store. I spend way to much money there. I actually bought me a Game of Thrones pallet. Oh oh and not long before that I had ordered the entire Avengers collection. OH MY GOSH. My heart. My heart is broken from that movie.

We finally got to see it (I promise no spoilers Mr. A) the weekend before someone called out and she has to go in. So we didn't get to see it and she was so upset, I dont even remember what occupied me that week. I was giving a bit of for warning to cope with the movie but I assure coping is not even close. I sobbed my heart out. I also found out I had contact allergic reaction to milk that day. I highly recommend you go see this anyone that loves Marvel. On top of it being mothers day it was nurses week. So I got her a purple rose badge holder, some earrings from my Pixie Momma from across the pond, and CF mom cup. Its CF awareness week.

Oh speaking of CF, did y'all know it affects your digestive system?? Spider Maker is use to this by now, sometimes I tend to make me large meals, or high fat meals. If I dont take enough enzymes or forget to take them by body can not actually digest the food properly if at all. Yeah, he's the one that gets those text "to much fat" and he knows. Its incredibly painful. Like not move lay in bed painful. I have learned many many ways around this just out of share stubbornness. Air fryer and I sometimes add water to my pan fry just so I'm not eating so much fat. This week I messed up somewhere and one of those bouts.

I also finished his dragon I was working on and got it out to him for birthday. We had a new release on the game we play together so I got a random call from him the other day. We play guild wars 2 and a few other games together, though that's are main one and we are raising a dragon on there. We as in the entire community that has chosen to do this. What I love about this community is that they all come together and help each other out. They are so kind except in PVP. I have this one kid that I helped once and he knows about the whole CF thing and he gets on there every now and then. He tells me all the CF stuff he has seen on TV (movies/news/tv) and he always ask permission to ask me questions. Its the most amazing thing I ever seen someone do. This kid (he's a teen I think) he was one of the few that asked what did you decide to do when it comes to that point. Most people just assume there's no other choice, but he just knew and I was kinda impressed with that.

I also started working on a gift for the All Father so that has been keeping my busy to, but as for my health its been pretty stable actually. Nothing to alarming came up outside the hives I got from using a tissue that touched milk. And I got to pop by to see the All Father recently to.

But I must get off of here and get this stuff rinsed out my hair.
Love Y'all
~Poppet

What a day

Today I had gotten up early was getting ready for the funeral. I had turned Queen on youtube and as always it swaps me over to Aerosmith (I can only half complain about this). And one of my all time favorite songs came on and I was I think curling my hair, I had heard the lyrics and just stopped. Now dream on has a sad new meaning to it cause for once I felt the lyrics, live your life because tomorrow you might not be here. Im usually not much of a sap but oh how my heart is broken. I very vividly remember this person so well.

So the All Father comes to grab me up to take me, while I was in my room grabbing something, I see Grandma coming down the hall with a packet that had Grandpas funeral arrangements on it, and that's when I realized where we were going. I truly thought it was a Veterans funeral home and such which I was only half wrong about. Anyways so I asked the All Father while we were there could we see my Grandpa I had seen him in awhile and he needs a visit while we are there. So of course I stopped to say.

Side not for girls, don't where heals to a graveyard just don't. Learn from me. Bumps and heals no no no.

This always gets us talking about death. I have always believed we should embrace it and dance with it. Morbid but hear me out. I have spent my entire adult life battling my lungs and food allergies. I group around the ICU because thats where Wonder Woman worked and oh how she loves it. So I always had this idea that anything can happen. I made a choice in life to embrace it, no matter what, we never know what is going to happen in life, we don't where were going to be or where we are going to end up. Its simply just a part of life that we should not fear. I will fight for every breath to continue to live don't get me wrong though.

So today I am going to drink my Starbucks, be thankful for this wonderful insane life, and maybe cry a bit cause God do I miss my grandpa. I was not expecting to end up there but I am so glad I did. He's my guardian angel after all, which we all know I need one battling this body.

Life is a beautiful amazing thing, do what you love.

Love yall
~Poppet

Life

I guess I should update this. Ive been a bit short of breath all day but I got to do the things I wanted so I want complain. Though I did eat a pint of ice cream for dinner cause well I deserved it. It was delicious with a nice hot cup of coffee. I also got Starbucks today, But anyways.

Friday was I was reading my book for some reason I left my phone screen on which I never do and I got a text from the All Father, which of course I closed my book and grabbed my phone. I got a text that someone I know had died. Once I placed face to name my heart sunk, I remember him fondly. I have been to band practices, New Years parties the works with them. I actually had him sign a drum head with my dad one year a LONG LONG time ago so when they got famous I had their first signature. Oh gosh I had to be twenty. That was also the night me and the all father got banned from playing with fire works.

Life is the shortest thing we have. I have said many times in this blog I have always been raised to believe quality over quantity of life. We must do what we love while we are on this earth. What moves your soul when you close your eyes and dream. What makes life worth living. Yes I get it, life is tough and it is hard. But its also so beautiful and amazing. We need to present in a world where its more important to be connected to whatever social media platform there is. But if we just put our phones down and talk to someone around us we'd find out how truly amazing this world is.

There are many times I just shove my phone in my purse and zip so I can sit and a coffee table and each Fritos with all father, to have dinner with my family, to catch up one whatever is going on in life. Some of my favorite memories are spent in at that coffee table. Or in the sunroom that my Grandpa built. Be present, be open, and disconnect from everything and just be present. Most of all follow your heart and dont let the world decide what and who you should be.

Love y'all
~Poppet 

Weekend

Its been an eventful weekend in a good way. A couple weeks ago, I had 2 allergic reactions back to back. I had sat on Wonder Womans bed and watched Fluffy the comedian with her. We found out he was coming to our area so we immediately bought really good seats. Two rows back actually and that was Friday night. We got to see our favorite comedian of all times. We have seen and met him before but he's always so much fun to listen to because he talks about his life in the most comical ways. I took my time did my makeup, curled my hair, picked out a cute outfit and we absolutely enjoyed our night. His stage theme was day of the dead. When we walked into the venue it was sugar skulls. Oh my gosh do I love sugar skulls. The whole day of the dead theme is the celebration of life of people who passed. Ive read all into this many many years back because I have one tattooed on my hand. So LOVED the set up. As always he was awesome.

We use to do heavy metal concerts but we have since swapped it for comedians and Cirque De Sole. If you ever get a chance to see either fluffy or Cirque go it is SO worth it. Some of the best shows I have seen. Yes its much much different then heavy metal concerts but there all wonderful in their own right. Though I do miss mosh pits. Yes my tiny self has been in one and yes I have crowd surfed.

Then today Wonder Woman took me to eat pizza. As I had ate off all the crust around my pizza which I always do first I get this big wif of seafood. I am ok don't freak out, She couldn't smell it on here side of the table but oh gosh it was over whelming on my side so I ended sitting next to her for the entire meal. I love pizza and there always great with my food allergies. No one can control the smell and though I have a few hives from the smell I didn't go into anaphylaxis though I did take a bunch of Benadryl. Next time we will just eat at the bar, and the bartender is an awesome waiter.

Not much else has really happened though and my shoulders are sore from carrying my oyxgen and purse around so I am gonna hop off here for now.

Love Yall
~Poppet

Better week

I figured I'd update this while I am doing nebs and chest PT. Its been a better week. Though I had to pause the cross stitch I got my hand tattooed. Its just so cute!! But usually if you ever wonder what I am doing and why I am not on here. I have cross stitch and watch the bohemian rhapsody!! I still game and read don't worry.

The day after I got my hand tattooed I tagged along with the All Father with a few errands and a surprise of lunch!! On our way home we went over this bridge we almost never go on and pulled over to stop at a little beach. Easiest I breathed in weeks!! I love breathing in fresh salt air. Wonder Woman told me I gave them so much hope because now there back where they were. Breathing okish. A couple days later I wound up at the All Fathers puppy sitting. And early that week he bought the Queen movie or maybe it was Friga. But anyways I watched that back to back with my sweet pup. I always wait for them to get home so I can hang out with them for a bit.

That night we found out that sub woofer and an app that puts certain Hz thru them really helps clear my lungs. Once he showed me what he was playing with I explained to him that my vest which I am on now used hz to dislodge mucus. But the subwoofer worked so much better!! He watched me go from normal to coughing and clearing my lungs. I stayed and ate with them too. Now I just need to get my hands on a subwoofer and figured out which app that he has. I have a few apps like that. Then I just need a subwoofer and something to bluetooth connect my phone to it.

Its been a much better week. We also got this thing for my truck. So my parents have pieces of mine while I am driving and if anything were to happen (we hope it never does) they will get a notification. Most days they think its me that worries but really I don't want to stress them out. They go through a lot with me. Oh gosh those would be perfect for teenagers. Mommie and Daddie will always know where you are at!! Anyways.

Its been a much better week. I got to snug my sweet boy Harley and love my sweet kitties.

I love yall
~Poppet

What a week

Its been a long week, this is probably gonna be more venting so I apologize if anything does not make sense.

I guess we'll start with last Friday. I was distracted with something I saw and I was swapping IV bags and spiked it cleared through to side. No big deal it happens sometimes. Nurses do that. So I go in the bathroom to wash my hands so I can start new tubing an a new bag look in the mirror, I was breaking out in hives. From what?? I have no idea. So I fixed my IV, tossed my breakfast after giving Rubes her one cheerio to play with, took my Benadryl and went about my dad.

Im not sure what happened Saturday morning. I think we went shopping that day. I found maple syrup cheerios which I havent had the chance to try yet. I accidentally hit the box and knocked a cup of coffee over. The floor is still sticky. Again no big deal. I ate dinner which I eat later at night to keep blood sugars stable. I wasn't feeling so great so I did them early on. I did my neb and I just couldn't catch my breath. So I went to tell Wonder Woman to just let her know, and she told me I was covered in hives. I took at least 100 mg of Benadryl in 2 years. The bright side?? I got to stay home and snuggle a Rubes. She really is a good!!

So Tuesday rolls around and I had an appointment. I love going to that place because I have made friends along the way, and I get there and she grabs my stuff and look for paperwork, there was none. And a complete visit from a month ago wasn't in the system. No big deal we got it all sorted. I went and got the only pink top in my moms size so she could have it for valentines. That was a score!! Oh and 70s style is popular. I LOVE that era.

I touched base with the All Father the next day and he was updating me on his heart and such. Told me what the plan was and how they were gonna go on from there. I reminded him not to forget Valentines. I had him prepared early on. He gave me a hilarious point of view from a mans stand point. So I went to check up on him today and see how well she liked her stuff and, his reply was he's in the ER. He's OK and its just his normal heart stuff. So he was OK to come home. But I am very close with him. I went over and let Harley out. Gave him so love and snuggled the kitties. How on earth did I fit yoga in today??

OH and I found out I missed 6 rows in my cross stitch and have to take some out. That is about 12 hours of work. Yes I will see what I can salvage.

So lets find the good in the bad. I have a nurse in my life that knows hot to act and keep me stable. I have a nurse that's willing to clean a few dishes for me that were already clean to relieve some stress and let me sit on her bed for a few hours and laugh at fluffy. I got to see Harley as a surprise today and the All Father is coming home.

Embrace life. The good and the bad. It makes us who we are.

Love Y'all
~Poppet 

Life

The Bohemian Rhapsody came out this past week. Wonder Woman has it heard about for over a year now and we missed it in theaters. She was working nights, my lungs are questionable around large groups. It got to the point I would just send a text and she knew what I was talking about. Yes I am a Queen fan but It was such a good movie. One part of the movie he said "I don't have much time but what I have left I want to spend it doing what I love." No really even if you're not a Queen fan watch it. It is so beautifully and respectfully done.

I have always said, people who live with a terminal illness think differently then the mass population. We have this though process that knows life is short, its beautiful, and its so worth it. Yes yes I know some are just mean grumps, but I know many who just truly love life and want to spend it sharing love. You always here people saying "I wish I could do this" "if I had the chance I would have done this differently." The average person holds on to this idea that we are going to have these long lives and there's always tomorrow. People forget to make the choice to live this day, and be present in this moment.

What if we all thought this way?? What if we all realized we are not going to live for ever and we are just present in a moment we can't get back. When me and Wonder Woman talk, we have memories that don't always have pictures. "Do you remember that concert we went to??" Which one is always the answer cause theres a lot. She has alway taught me to follow my dreams and my heart and to never settle. Follow my true desire in life. That is why I am a Chef. People in my life didn't want me to have a "man's job." But oh how I love to cook. Sometimes we don't know what we want to be, or we are scared to push boundaries and be what we want to be.

Don't waste your life thinking you have forever to live, don't spend your time shrugging it off and saying "there's always tomorrow." You have the here and the now. Do what you love, chase what your soul truly desires. And live the best life you can.

Love Y'all
~Poppet

Christmas Update

Now that rush of holidays are over, and I half slept through the new year. I figured now that I am awake I'd up day on the craziness of my life. Of course nothing ever goes as planned, we make things work, and with all the fireworks and gunshots which means a scaredy cat I slept most of yesterday.

So I did get to be home for the holidays, though it wasn't that simple. I had seen Superman that morning and we had to sort my home saline to up it to 4 liters for three days which means I was getting up at 6 am to be out of the house by noon. Which as soon as Wonder Woman opened the door I was at her side making her open her present. Why would I let her take her jacket off?? The All Father got the excitement before he got into the house and we opened our presents a day early because of it. I had made him this gorgeous cross stitch that was based off American traditional tattoos. He has left the tattoos to me and of course he needed a second one.

I got to go to Christmas dinner and see some of my family I haven't seen in years. Some since I was like 17/18. One of them lives out of state and we sorta surprised her that day. I call her Sissie. I have been trying to up that way every time she's in town but it always falls short and I finally got to see her. With rest of the clan too. They are such a wonderful part of my life. One of the girls I would baby sit while our parents were down the street at a house party. Then I got to me some of the younger kids I hadn't been able to. Thankful Spider Maker got me into anime and was able to connect with her.

I also got to see my favorite uncle. I came home just in time for me to talking to him and he brought me over some Stephen King books to read. Yes yes I know he's a horror author but I mean I do read Robin Cook who is a medical doctor that rights on hot topics of the times. Fabulous author. And IT was my first Tim Curry movie so why not read the book?? I also gave him the rest of Rubes treats that shes allergic to or won't eat.

So though I have been busy I have been really enjoying my time. And I love surrounding myself with people I love. As for the New Year?? I am not sure what lies ahead me as life is so uncertain. But I know I am going to work on 4 trials recipe books to get a feeler out on what people like. I know whose getting them already. Once I sort Rubes out I will be getting a few prints even if I do it buy hand. Which that sounds like a wonderful idea.

But I am off here for now. Gonna read the newest Robin Cook book so I can start on some Stephen King.

Love Y'all
~Poppet