Today was well rough. I haven't needed oxygen bad, but it was rough none the less. Have not been able to exercise in three days. One day, Wonder Woman said no! I needed oxygen to make it thru the night, the next I was at "work" most of the day (which i love), then last night my PICC has been really hurting!! I mean to the point I asked for a dressing change. I usually try to push it off as far as I can. I really hate dressing changes. "Do we have to." "Is your dressing damaged" Well... Yeah give it 3 days I am patching it up lol. Turns out I have blisters on my arm, from MCAD. So I took a little to much benadryl (close to 50) So exercising today would be BAD. I would compare myself to a zombie. Stared at my iPad screen for a couple minutes wondering what I was doing! Bed time??

My Grandma saw me with my heating pad, she was like in pain again?? Hasn't really stopped, but I am OK. She told me she will not let herself complain because she see's what I go thru all the time. Which I guess to me its nothing but a daily life now. I guess other peoples views are different. She watches me fight, go in and out of the hospital, doctor after doctor, IV after IV, treatment, oxygen, hand full of pills... I think nothing of it, because doesn't everybody do it?? After all of this, I realized I am not the only that goes through this life. People around me are greatly affected.

I have often said "I go thru this you don't," when I am beyond frusterated with the "i get it" after days of misery. But the truth is they really go thru it with us.  Why do I say this?? Because they honestly do. We all breakdown and snap. Someone has to be there right?? We have our "go to" person. They are there with us thru it all, they cry with us, rejoice with us, cope with us, and hold our hands. I have watched my family just break down because they thought I was gone. I had my Dad hold my hand until 3 am once and Wonder Woman slept in a chair by my bed for a week. If thats not going thru this with me I don't know what is at all. Wonder Woman has sacrificed so much for me. It's very hard for them to watch someone they love, go thru so much and not be able to do a thing about it. I am sure its even harder for a nurse. They KNOW how to treat you but they can't. Or you and they have used every option., and there is NO sugar coating and protecting them from the reality of your life. I can tell my Dad (who I call the All Father) I am fine and he'll say OK she's fine. Wonder Woman, well "I can tell by your breathing your not ok." Just. Erg. Sighs... FINE! lol

I truly am so thankful for the people that go thru this with me, help me, and care for me. Even if it is just grabbing me canvas for sewing, or texting me thru out the night, skyping/factime/oovoo. I love them my warriors.

But my show is one. Deadliest Catch!! Gotta let mom know the hot captains baot is about to catch fire
Until next time
Love Yall
Poppet~