My life is constantly full of uncertainty. I never know which end is up, or how my lungs are going to behave not just day to day but minute by minute. I can be find one moment and struggle the next. I sueccsefully made it to see Superman and my chest feels off, and like I have air trapping. Which I probably do, my PFTs always show that. I am constantly exhausted, and more then anything I want to just lay down but I need to update this, and I need to cook dinner. I am trying to wait for Wonder Woman to get home so I can talk to her about my lungs.
My lower lungs have no air movement. IF they do, its very very little and the normal breath sounds have diminished over the years. Its really here nor there, I do have lung disease. I have to go to special centers now. The meds I need I might not even qualify for, but we always hope for the best. If we don't get the lungs well my prognosis isn't that great. Its about what it is now, which we almost never talk about.
I once again need PFTs, I need a high risk CT scan (which I am still unsure what that truly means but know enough to know its not good), I need blood testing, I need to see how much damage is done, and I might just need to be sent off to a better location to get the help I truly need. Its a matter of life and death. I fight so hard every single day so I have more tomorrows, I do breathing treatments, I do chest PT SEVERAL times a day, I eat a very strict diet, I do oils, and salt lamps, and sometimes I still end up in the ER. I still end up on antibiotics, and I still have lost weight. I push my body so hard which its getting to the point I can no longer push my lungs to the limit. I have to stop and listen to these silly lungs of mine and do what they say!! Which is odd coming from me. However, I need more tomorrows, I need time with my friends, I need time with my family, I need time for me.
This week has took everything out of me. I have been on so much beandryl I can't figure out which end is up, I am tired, and I am resting. A lot of people haven't heard from me, and I am sorry for that. My life is a LOT to take in even for me. There is so much uncertainty in my days, and theres such much uncertainty in my lungs. And I have even yelled at my heart to quit its crap and get back in rhythm.
The thing is no one knows where there life is going to end up, I am just so blessed I have such wonderful parents that help me make the best out of my life and love me unconditionally.
Love Y'all
~Poppet
My lower lungs have no air movement. IF they do, its very very little and the normal breath sounds have diminished over the years. Its really here nor there, I do have lung disease. I have to go to special centers now. The meds I need I might not even qualify for, but we always hope for the best. If we don't get the lungs well my prognosis isn't that great. Its about what it is now, which we almost never talk about.
I once again need PFTs, I need a high risk CT scan (which I am still unsure what that truly means but know enough to know its not good), I need blood testing, I need to see how much damage is done, and I might just need to be sent off to a better location to get the help I truly need. Its a matter of life and death. I fight so hard every single day so I have more tomorrows, I do breathing treatments, I do chest PT SEVERAL times a day, I eat a very strict diet, I do oils, and salt lamps, and sometimes I still end up in the ER. I still end up on antibiotics, and I still have lost weight. I push my body so hard which its getting to the point I can no longer push my lungs to the limit. I have to stop and listen to these silly lungs of mine and do what they say!! Which is odd coming from me. However, I need more tomorrows, I need time with my friends, I need time with my family, I need time for me.
This week has took everything out of me. I have been on so much beandryl I can't figure out which end is up, I am tired, and I am resting. A lot of people haven't heard from me, and I am sorry for that. My life is a LOT to take in even for me. There is so much uncertainty in my days, and theres such much uncertainty in my lungs. And I have even yelled at my heart to quit its crap and get back in rhythm.
The thing is no one knows where there life is going to end up, I am just so blessed I have such wonderful parents that help me make the best out of my life and love me unconditionally.
Love Y'all
~Poppet
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