It has been such a buys but lovely weekend and I am so blessed to be surrounded by the people who love me.
With PFTs coming it has been a reminder to spend time with people I love because I know this could end in a very devastating way. I know if my PFTs are low this is gonna be the start of figuring out where to go for new lungs. Though we have a place chosen does not mean thats where we are going to go. It's also an emotional battle of "what is this doing to my family" and "we got this."
Choosing to get lungs when the time comes is a personal choice that I alone can make. No one can make this choice for me because I ultimately have to live with it. I have such a fight in me to survive this life and to get a chance to live that I do want that choice. I am not scared of the alternative because I accepted my fate a long time ago. I am at peace with where this life will take me, but that doesn't mean I don't want a second chance at life.
I love my family more then words will ever explain, I have said before I can't handle what my life does to them. Someone took the time to tell me this is my life, and I have to accept my journey in life and make this choice based on me and me alone. Though it sounds so selfish its so so so true. This is my journey and my destiny. I truly love life and there are so many reasons in life to live. Not just my family but things I truly love to do.
Life is truly beautiful. When we take the time to experience life and not just get thru it we see such beauty in life. My reality is this:
My lungs can only handle so much so things have to give. There is no long days for me with out a break in the middle. Small short days, and a good 2 hours to get ready so my lungs can do their thing. I have to cancel plans at the last minute because my lungs can't lung. I can't catch my breath. I cough myself delirious and I do wonder what kind of life is this?? It's mine. This is my life. It makes me so much more thankful and grateful for when I am able to go out. I am in the moment and I put my phone down to be with the people I love and the people I am getting to know. We are so consumed with technology, with phones, the internet that we forget to be in the moment. "What is I miss a text or a phone call." Its OK. The stranger sitting next to you because a fabulous person and you are missing out on making a difference in their day. They will remember you took the time to be in the moment instead of on your phone. Starbucks is my best example. Mine is fabulous and I love them the people that work their. I love talking to them and spending time with them. I also got to talk to an art major once!! Fabulous person.
The point of all this. Living with a disease that has constantly made me sacrifice me life, I have learned be in the moment. I have learned to make time for those I love, yes somedays it does mean making a choice one or the other. You will never get Time back, it is so important to be with loved one's, spend time with loved ones, and take time to be with people even you do not know them. Love!! Love deeply, find a positive in every situation, and always always always be kind to people. Life is to short to be mad and angry. Its OK to choose you, and at times be selfish. Its OK to put others first and be selfless. Most importantly just love. Choose love. Choose hope. Choose kindness.
Love Y'all
~Poppet
With PFTs coming it has been a reminder to spend time with people I love because I know this could end in a very devastating way. I know if my PFTs are low this is gonna be the start of figuring out where to go for new lungs. Though we have a place chosen does not mean thats where we are going to go. It's also an emotional battle of "what is this doing to my family" and "we got this."
Choosing to get lungs when the time comes is a personal choice that I alone can make. No one can make this choice for me because I ultimately have to live with it. I have such a fight in me to survive this life and to get a chance to live that I do want that choice. I am not scared of the alternative because I accepted my fate a long time ago. I am at peace with where this life will take me, but that doesn't mean I don't want a second chance at life.
I love my family more then words will ever explain, I have said before I can't handle what my life does to them. Someone took the time to tell me this is my life, and I have to accept my journey in life and make this choice based on me and me alone. Though it sounds so selfish its so so so true. This is my journey and my destiny. I truly love life and there are so many reasons in life to live. Not just my family but things I truly love to do.
Life is truly beautiful. When we take the time to experience life and not just get thru it we see such beauty in life. My reality is this:
My lungs can only handle so much so things have to give. There is no long days for me with out a break in the middle. Small short days, and a good 2 hours to get ready so my lungs can do their thing. I have to cancel plans at the last minute because my lungs can't lung. I can't catch my breath. I cough myself delirious and I do wonder what kind of life is this?? It's mine. This is my life. It makes me so much more thankful and grateful for when I am able to go out. I am in the moment and I put my phone down to be with the people I love and the people I am getting to know. We are so consumed with technology, with phones, the internet that we forget to be in the moment. "What is I miss a text or a phone call." Its OK. The stranger sitting next to you because a fabulous person and you are missing out on making a difference in their day. They will remember you took the time to be in the moment instead of on your phone. Starbucks is my best example. Mine is fabulous and I love them the people that work their. I love talking to them and spending time with them. I also got to talk to an art major once!! Fabulous person.
The point of all this. Living with a disease that has constantly made me sacrifice me life, I have learned be in the moment. I have learned to make time for those I love, yes somedays it does mean making a choice one or the other. You will never get Time back, it is so important to be with loved one's, spend time with loved ones, and take time to be with people even you do not know them. Love!! Love deeply, find a positive in every situation, and always always always be kind to people. Life is to short to be mad and angry. Its OK to choose you, and at times be selfish. Its OK to put others first and be selfless. Most importantly just love. Choose love. Choose hope. Choose kindness.
Love Y'all
~Poppet
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