A lot has come to light recently. Between giving up social media, I got on long enough to give the lung update and off again. And my health status I have found out who my team of warriors really are. Theres a lot of true about there are people who care and people who just want to know.
I have been working to keep my peak flows stable. Not get them up but to keep them stable. We hope to buy us some time to do some testing and get me on a med I can't even afford. No one can, there is a cost on my life when it comes to CF. But it's not one that will stop me. I decided a long long time ago what my decisions will be. I will fight.
I have been trying to tell people before Wonder Woman made my health public what has been going on. I still have a few to tell that do not follow social media, but its so heart breaking to watch people tear up when I tell them that the next stage my battle will begin. Though most do not what all this entails, some do. It sucks so much to watch people cry because of something going on with your life. And I know its not me thats making them cry, its my lungs and I really have to separate the to. But I don't want to make people cry. I also reassure them I am in good hands and it'll all be OK. A few have checked up on me and my family but some have not made the effort to make sure me or my family is ok. And no I do not expect people to message me after seeing this to see if I am ok. I am good, I have taking the time to cope and make and effort to spend time with those who love me.
I honestly do not think people realize what this does to my parents or my family in general. There is so much stress that has been put on Wonder Woman alone, and then the All Father. They have to not only cope with my reality, but moving... Then other thoughts I just don't even want to think about. The stress of everything to come is going to be over whelming and heart breaking and I get it. Gosh do I get it.
I always tell Wonder Woman, that I have this and my PFTs are going to be stables but the reality is I am calling her after I was my hair because I am choking on my lungs and I and dizzy. She stays on the phone just long enough for me to be OK then send me on my way. A year ago that would be cause for concern now its my reality. What I would have been admitted for 2 years is now my daily life.
This morning alone I woke up with white lips and it was whatever just another day in the life, until I took off my oxygen to wash my face and I had to catch my breath before I washed my hair to start what I just mentioned. She's convinced I am dependent on my oxygen and I am quick to assure it comes off all the time and I am fine. We all know whose right here. My reality is harsh and it is brutal. But i refuse to let this dim my light. I believe we will get thru this. I have a team on my side and no I do not want to talk about this further. If you've seen my social media please do not ask me to talk about it because I won't. I still have to message people and break some more hearts and its so hard for me to watch people cry because of me. But we are in this together. I don't fight this alone I call my close group "Poppets Warriors" because that is what we are. We find our strength in each other, what I need is prayers.
I guess I need to hop off here I just got a discount code for a tote I need to look at :-D!!
Love Y'all
~Poppet
I have been working to keep my peak flows stable. Not get them up but to keep them stable. We hope to buy us some time to do some testing and get me on a med I can't even afford. No one can, there is a cost on my life when it comes to CF. But it's not one that will stop me. I decided a long long time ago what my decisions will be. I will fight.
I have been trying to tell people before Wonder Woman made my health public what has been going on. I still have a few to tell that do not follow social media, but its so heart breaking to watch people tear up when I tell them that the next stage my battle will begin. Though most do not what all this entails, some do. It sucks so much to watch people cry because of something going on with your life. And I know its not me thats making them cry, its my lungs and I really have to separate the to. But I don't want to make people cry. I also reassure them I am in good hands and it'll all be OK. A few have checked up on me and my family but some have not made the effort to make sure me or my family is ok. And no I do not expect people to message me after seeing this to see if I am ok. I am good, I have taking the time to cope and make and effort to spend time with those who love me.
I honestly do not think people realize what this does to my parents or my family in general. There is so much stress that has been put on Wonder Woman alone, and then the All Father. They have to not only cope with my reality, but moving... Then other thoughts I just don't even want to think about. The stress of everything to come is going to be over whelming and heart breaking and I get it. Gosh do I get it.
I always tell Wonder Woman, that I have this and my PFTs are going to be stables but the reality is I am calling her after I was my hair because I am choking on my lungs and I and dizzy. She stays on the phone just long enough for me to be OK then send me on my way. A year ago that would be cause for concern now its my reality. What I would have been admitted for 2 years is now my daily life.
This morning alone I woke up with white lips and it was whatever just another day in the life, until I took off my oxygen to wash my face and I had to catch my breath before I washed my hair to start what I just mentioned. She's convinced I am dependent on my oxygen and I am quick to assure it comes off all the time and I am fine. We all know whose right here. My reality is harsh and it is brutal. But i refuse to let this dim my light. I believe we will get thru this. I have a team on my side and no I do not want to talk about this further. If you've seen my social media please do not ask me to talk about it because I won't. I still have to message people and break some more hearts and its so hard for me to watch people cry because of me. But we are in this together. I don't fight this alone I call my close group "Poppets Warriors" because that is what we are. We find our strength in each other, what I need is prayers.
I guess I need to hop off here I just got a discount code for a tote I need to look at :-D!!
Love Y'all
~Poppet
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