frusterated

Well yesterday was quite busy and I am not always the best at busy days as I get SO exhausted. So much wears me out but not much I can do about it but work thru it.

But I had a doctors visit yesterday morning, to keep an eye on my blood work and whatever maitnence I need. I also got a print out of my lab work which I never get they sorta just gave it to me. I have it all online so whatever. So when I saw Wonder Woman I gave the lab values to her, and she took one look at them and assured me that my RBC wasn't terribly low and I always think the worse so I assumed I'd need blood!! hahah well of course there are other steps before that. But thats not where my mind goes because I never have the best of luck. Well she kept on going thru things and she got to my kidney function levels. Well my GFR was the highest she has ever seen, and my BUN was the lowest she ever seen. She was a nurse long before I was born. She also informed my health record was the worse she ever seen to. But anyways I guess GFR is how well your kidneys work and the normal is 60 well mine is 253... Which means my kidneys work over time. No one is concerned because I have POTS and this is quite for those of us who retain no fluid what so ever. I had someone yell at me once I drink to much coffee as its a diuretic. I kindly told them you give me 2 liters i lose that. You give me 2 liters and 18 ounces of coffee i lose the 2 liters and 18 ounces. Which explains the high GFR and low BUN. But nothing to much to be concerned about I have to wait a bit more to get this weeks values. I am bit worried about my low blood count or if its dropped lower but apparently this common with my disease process or so I am assured.

I have also got this private message from some stranger that I need a strong man like him to date to make my parents proud. I tried to shake it off, I really did but I am not so nice when people tell me I need a man to make my parents proud. Especially being so sick all the time. My parents have told me countless times they are proud of me. Because I am able to pick up my life being sos sick and make the best of it. Because of how I give back to the world in spite of the hand I was dealt. No one would be mad if I was upset because of how terrible my disease process can get but thats not what I am about at all. I am not about to get upset because I was dealt a poor hand. Thats not how you win a game of poker. I was raised to be an independent strong woman, I was raised to take care of myself. This means with a disease, this means not letting something control me and take the best of who I am. My parents are proud because I put myself out there to gain awareness and not just for me just so some can have a small once of hope to get on with their days inspite of everything that goes wrong.

So then, to make my day that much more interesting. I go to pick up my meds pull in, handicap because my lungs are worthless, oxygen on, and some one was coming out of the store... They looked at me and waited by my truck. WAITED. BY. MY. TRUCK. They were waiting for me exit my truck to speak to me. So I get this, and not trusting a soul especially a stranger waiting for me, i get on my phone and start going thru stuff messaging people. They knocked on my window to get my attention... I shook my head no as I am not interacting with a stranger its not happening, well one that makes me feel very uncomfortable. She stops another man and they both stare at me. Its like why are you people bothering me, its like please leave me be.

But I am going to get off here and finish my movie and my coffee
Love Y'all
~Poppet