Happy New Year

Its been awhile since I updated, I have been crazy busy getting ready for Christmas, getting Wonder Woman who works a lot ready for Christmas, dealing with my new truck, and just enjoying the holidays.

I don't even know where to start, well my old truck had or has mold in it so we had to get rid of because it just made me so so sick. In the process of that we got me a new truck and the length of wheel base was just a little bit longer then my old one so the All Father has been teaching how to drive it correctly. I was parking it today and its like ok now I need to be closer to this side and now I need to turn at the last minute, and now I need to trust the truck. I could have made it but I was a bit nervous.

Christmas was wonderful, I finally got to give the All Father his gift. I'll post it on my Poppets FB soon, but I cross stitched his cats. It was a challenge I swore up and down while doing it that I had no idea how to cross stitch at some points. It came together so well and I was so excited to give it to him. Its always fun to see him open his gifts. Other wise Christmas was pretty low key.

My health has been pretty level. My lungs are still bouncing back from the lung infection I got from the mold. There still pretty junky, and im still a bit exhausted from all of it. There not back to where they were before but thats ok. I will get them back. I really need to get back into yoga and get them sorted out properly. I saw my nurse today that told me my animia was stable so we are good there. I need some good news to end the year.

So much has gone on over the past couple of months, the death, the stuff with my bro, my health, the truck, and just trying to balance all of this. Coping with the loss of someone who was a huge part of my life, someone that made me who I am, and no one knowing I existed in their life at the same time. Traveling to my favorite location and just letting all of that go, and just being present with people that love me and matter.

The All Father texted me the week or a few days before Christmas and he told me this new year is going to be the best, we are going to make it the best, and we are going to enjoy it. We are going to make choices that lead to this as well. Cut out the negative and run with the positive. Embrace life, love life, and be thankful every day.

Love Yall
~Poppet

Long Week

So the sunroof on my truck had been leaking for awhile. I won't get into my vent session about this but it got to the point my truck was growing or is growing mold. Mold is bad for people in general but lets at CF and POTS to the mix and you got a general disaster. Two weeks ago I do believe, maybe three because we had a to wait a week to get her into the shop to get the sunroof fixed I went to Michaels. I was having some issues breathing and my face was flushed and I wrote it off as oh it was just Michaels during Christmas season, and I had texted Wonder Woman and the All Father that day. So to my horror the DMC floss I got off amazon was indeed not DMC so I went back with Wonder Woman that weekend and I was breathing fine... But why would this be a cue to listen to me. Accept the All Father, he did listen and said look this is affect your breathing theirs mold don't do the repairs get rid of it.

So we've had this truck since 2000, it became mine quite a few years ago an it was my main truck to drive. We got her brand new off the lot and its only ever been ours so I did also want to keep her because she's held a very strong place in my heart. Take her into get fixed, the guy who did my sunroof told us their is indeed mold in the truck (my breathing should have been the first clue but not venting). So of course I call Wonder Woman, start looking for places to clear the mold and such while trying to game with Spider Maker (thank you for being so patient with me). At this point I am just frustrated and ready to cry. She finally text me to get advice from the All Father which I could predict that convo, we were looking at hundred of dollars worth of repairs not taking into consideration my CF and how this is affecting my breathing. Im sure you see where this is going. Yep we had to get rid of our pride and joy.

The guy I was test driving out new girl with was listening to all of this. It reminded him to check his sunroof and clean it out because this is a very very common thing to happen with sunroofs. The tracks that drain the water get clogged up. I took mine over to the all father and we found out then the sunroof didn't even open.

My lungs are doing okish, I'm generally just exhausted and had to cancel many appointments over this but thats ok I can reschedule them all.

Love Yall
~Poppet

Sorry I didn’t update yesterday, maybe it’s been 2 days?? I’ve been busy and tired!! High elevation, and walking up hills!! It’s been a lot on me but I’ve been doing ok at the same time because the air is so so clean.

Two days ago, we toured the battlefields!! I was thinking about the war side who was where, and who was doing what. I love the movie Gettysburg and we were placing locations and wondering where someone’s ashes were spread. I was struggling walking up hills but not letting it stop me. I couldn’t imagine walking up a hill like that, starved, and people firing at me. It’s horrific and heart breaking. Us Virginians wanted to find out where our monument was at and what was over there. It took us forever but we did find it. And a few other statues as well it was the first time I had been back that way!! There’s a pic floating around of me at Devils Den to.

Yesterday, we did to museums they were so so cool and I’d never seen either of them before. We got to see the civilian side of the word and gave us a side we never thought about. The 7,000 thousand dead bodies after the war in a hot summer day plus the animals?? And all that laid wounded. They had to indure all that for months. The house we were at were taking over by confederates who ransacked the place in a sense and it was turned into a hospital. We also went to another museum that sorta showed the hospital side of that. Someone really should not let me walk up 4 flights of stairs again an exhausting day, we did some shops and found some haunted grave yards. Yes I am that girl lol!! Loved haunted things and history but we always come in love and light.

Today, oh gosh today. Mr A check out my insta the train is on there (lilcriss3) we got to rise on a old steam engine!! Ok so this wasn’t thought out, open car, smoke ran steam engine, and the cold. I was bit congested and wheezie from all the smoke, it wasn’t bad going up but coming back down it was awful tho i am very much so ok, sitting off my oxygen even and the view was gorgeous!! We made it a place called Hanover Junction and it so far has been the only place I could eat safely with out me cooking it. It was Italian ice and it was so so good!! Such a gorgeous train to.

But I’m going to hop off here,
Love Y’all
~Poppet

Fun

Apparently last nights blog just posted, I didn’t realize that. I’m once again on my phone so this shouldn’t be long either, sorry for the short version of this stuff at the moment been a mix between busy and tired. I have learned that my lungs do not do hills!! Does that stop me?? Well no not really I have been and do where my oxygen. Today we went to see the panorama and listened to the history of the civil war. In general not just this area, my area was on there to. I learned a lot of stuff and took some pics. I have some posted on insta.

So for those who don’t know me, I love history all kinda of history but specifically haunted history. Yes how shocking the little goth girl loves haunted stuff. I have found haunted stuff every where!! It’s just so wonderful I also found (on display in a museum) historic clever and chef stuff from the civil war. You typical see the medical side which now a days seems barbaric but they didn’t have what we have today. Seeing how truly tiny the uniforms were amazed me!! We also walked the cemetery and such which is so so serene and peaceful. I also found a cook book about the culinary history of the war.

We basically just walked around today to find stuff and just look. It poored this morning, and we have been cooking or own meals and such. Which I’m more then ok with it’s safer and better for my body really. Tho I did notice they don’t have anything gluten free, I’m “intolerant” to it in a sense tho they do have food allergy stuff here. I can’t wait to walk battlefields. This is one of my favorite places to be. Tho. I’m exhausted and do need to get meds and stuff done.

Love Y’all
~Poppet

Travel

So I’m on my phone and this won’t be to long until I get my computer on and running. Traveling with CF and POTs is a lot and we packed an entire truck with medical supplies. I wish I was kidding but it was full of medical supplies and I’ve been sitting on the floor playing cards. You can follow my stuff in Instagram at lilcriss3 or maybe FB but def insta lol I’m heading off for the night tho

Love y’all
~Poppet 

funeral

Yesterday was the funeral, it was with estranged family, that had no idea that I was on oxygen or had an IV in my chest. Not that it should matter but some were visibly taking a back by my appearance. Some of the family new that I have always been the goth girl and I didn't "grow out of it" tho I picked out the nicest clothes I had for 90 degree weather, tho part of my sleeve was showing, but you know I got thru most of this ok. I learned catholic funerals are beautiful. I learned that my long lost aunts husbands remember m fascination with black squirrels. Ok no they really exist go google them. I love them!! There jet black. I had been talk to that aunt on FB the last two days and thanked her for being there for said person while he passed and I was glad he was at peace because I know how painful lung disease and infections can be.

I was ok until a point and I'm not sure how much I want to say on this. But the person that died put me and my family thru hell. HELL. I didn't want anything to do with him. I sorta knew some of this health stuff was going on a year ago when a nurse reached out to my me thru Grandma. I had texted the All Father who told me, make sure your making a decision you can life with not one based off emotions. This is solid life advice. Take a step back and make a decision not based off emotions. A lot of this stuff that was said thru the nurse was so hard to hear and so hard to believe because they weren't seeing the other side of it. And my visible sobbing didn't stop the comments and conversation. I also saw an uncle that told me he would make sure me and my brother were taking care of, I asked him kindly please just take care of my brother do not worry about me and if he needed any help from me and Wonder Woman we are phone call away and we will do what he can to help us. If you know me personally I am sure you can guess who died.

I was promptly removed from the situation and my family that went with me came over and helped me sort some of my emotions. And we all will come together to support my brother and what he needs. I was also texting the All Father and he said this to me. If you experience a flux of emotion use them as a learning experience to grow in light, everything we experience makes us better.

Love Y'all
~Poppet

Emotions

This is just gonna be an emotional jumble session, this is no way health related. I was sitting in bed earlier nose in my book that Ive almost knocked out in a week and my Grandma comes in and tells me someone wanted to talk to me and it was up to me what to say, on a whim I said ok. She didn't recognize my voice but I knew hers. I worked well volunteered at the hospital with her years back. I wasn't even 16. She told me Kens dead. I still won't give to much info about him. Whether its to protect me or him I don't know. He's my brothers dad though and our history was hell. I knew he was sick and my family as you know from last blog made a choice to say no on my behalf and never said other wise out of choice. She was pooring her heart out to me as I just sobbed on the phone. My lungs still hurt and my eyes burn with tears. And it hurt so bad to hear how much he said he loved me. When the last thing I ever heard was how much he never wanted me because I have been sick me entire life.

All of the emotions and all the hell I have been thru with him is still so raw all these years later, I cry for myself out of loss and all these memories. The worry for my brother, the split decision to go to a funeral with estranged family that barely know and not even sure what they think of me. I really hope the said nurse I was talking to earlier is going to be there because I know she'll support me. I have her reaching out to family for me.

I guess I need to get off of here tho and try to sleep take some Benadryl even to keep the puffiness in my face down?? I don't know.

Love yall
~POppet