Thursday, March 24, 2016

Lungs

I guess I need to do a health update because I sorta have mentioned it but haven't really let y'all know whats going on.

A few months ago I had PFTs, they came back horrid and showed I get less then a liter in and out of my lungs and they are so bad everyone is like "why aren;t you on the list??" Cause we have one last hope and Superman is bound to save me. He wants my PFTs back to 400... Most Day they are max of 310 which isn't much better and some days they are still under 300. Some days I feel like I am fighting a losing battle. I fight every day for a breath into my lungs. Some days its much easier then others with this new medication. But it's not where I need it to be. Yes I know let the med work but I have already seen a difference in my lungs, and people here the difference with me coughing up a lung.

Because of my such poor lung function I am constantly tired and mixed with new side effects its so hard to get anything done. I am never hungry and force my self to eat cause of my Potassium. My stomach contanstly hurts and its always sour. Mixed with my crap lungs some days it doesn't make for a good day. But don't think for a second I let it stop me. I was telling Lady Sif about all this and she explained it better then I can, "Sometimes you got to pick something, using your phone which takes energy, or saving it to get your meds done." And some times this is what I face. I do not intenntially ignore people. I try my best to keep up with things but the first thing to go is my phone. I know thats terrible to some of you but it's an unneeded energy. I need to get meds in me, I need to get on my vest, I need to get things done that average people do and something has to give.

Every day is a battle against my body. My lungs ache, my chest hurts, my stomach is being stupid, I am short of breathe, and the list goes on. I am short of breath on oxygen some days and I can't do things like I use to. I sure try but some days my body wins. I just can't keep up and it needs to rest. Most day half of this is a mental battle, which 99% of the time I got that handled but some days I break. I cry because my disease does consume me it takes all my time and effort and alls I want to do is have a break from life. But after I cry it out I remind myself I can handle this I have been much sicker, I have been thru far worse then this. I can fight this. And there is so much beauty in life that you can't let some silly disease stop you from not living your life.

Yes my lungs are getting really bad, I feel the mucus in my chest now and since its a bit warm i'll start to get dehydrated here soon.  Which is easy to fix I just need to get of here to do it.

So I best go get that done, and eat!!

Love Y'all
~Poppet

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