Guilt, it comes a lot when dealing with a chronic illness, it can be quite an overwhelming feeling. It can come a lot when your dealing with this weird world. You feel like your a burden to those you love. But what if for a minute we just took a moment to step back and just say "I accept that I am feeling this but I choose gratitude."
A lot has hit at once, Rubes' granuloma is back so we need to get her treated, my birthday is coming up, and with the rain my lungs are in a very bad spot where I am spending a lot of time just trying to catch my breath. I take all these meds that make me quite emotional and my poor friend who talks to me the most gets the blunt end of it. The All Father and Frigga my spiritual guides thru this life always remind me, what we think we create. Sometimes it means just simply accepting that you feel this negative emotion but not act on it. Its so easy to just let those feelings eat you up and just break down but its a whole different world to accept your emotions and step back. For me its taking a deep breath and put my head in my blanket and just letting go. And the reminding myself that I have a choice.
The amount of energy and support in many different ways that goes into keeping someone with a terrible illness a live can make you feel like a burden. We've all been there, and its OK to cry and express this. After that take a moment to say what you are thankful for. Though its different for all of us, I can easily say I am thankful for my incredible support team and the sacrifices they CHOOSE to make to see me live the life I want. You see they also have a choice in this. They make a choice to stand by us even though it could be the hardest thing they ever did but their love surpass that. They love us enough to carry that weight, and thats such a blessing to have someone love you enough to take on that roll.
Frigga one day introduced me to Mala Bracelets and mantras. They are a form of meditation and we can speak these words into each bead (108) and that energy you create is in those beads, and its such a good reminder every time you wear it that you spoke those words. My persoanlly is "I love. I accept, I forgive. I am present." Those for words truly help me when me emotions (steroids) get the best of me.
Love has centered me many times over, whether its a simple text, or someonebringing me coffee in bed so I can have a moment before I start the rough morning of IVs and clearing the lungs. I accept that this is the life I was giving, I accept that I was giving these people to guide me, I accept the emotions that come when I least expect it and its truly ok to feel that way. I forgive. Forgiveness is such a powerful thing. I forgive myself for beating me up and tearing me down, I forgive people who dont understand, I forgive moments of frustration. And I am present. I am alive, I am breathing, and whatever I am doing, wherever I am at, who ever I am with, I am present in that moment. The phone can wait, technology can wait and that current moment is where I need to be.
Many times over this has helped center me and remind that guilt is a very real emotion that can come up, I have the choice to act on it. Yes sometimes I do, but then I remind myself I have such a beautiful and wonderful life. I am so loved, and I love back. Thats truly makes this life worth it.
Love Y'all
~Poppet
A lot has hit at once, Rubes' granuloma is back so we need to get her treated, my birthday is coming up, and with the rain my lungs are in a very bad spot where I am spending a lot of time just trying to catch my breath. I take all these meds that make me quite emotional and my poor friend who talks to me the most gets the blunt end of it. The All Father and Frigga my spiritual guides thru this life always remind me, what we think we create. Sometimes it means just simply accepting that you feel this negative emotion but not act on it. Its so easy to just let those feelings eat you up and just break down but its a whole different world to accept your emotions and step back. For me its taking a deep breath and put my head in my blanket and just letting go. And the reminding myself that I have a choice.
The amount of energy and support in many different ways that goes into keeping someone with a terrible illness a live can make you feel like a burden. We've all been there, and its OK to cry and express this. After that take a moment to say what you are thankful for. Though its different for all of us, I can easily say I am thankful for my incredible support team and the sacrifices they CHOOSE to make to see me live the life I want. You see they also have a choice in this. They make a choice to stand by us even though it could be the hardest thing they ever did but their love surpass that. They love us enough to carry that weight, and thats such a blessing to have someone love you enough to take on that roll.
Frigga one day introduced me to Mala Bracelets and mantras. They are a form of meditation and we can speak these words into each bead (108) and that energy you create is in those beads, and its such a good reminder every time you wear it that you spoke those words. My persoanlly is "I love. I accept, I forgive. I am present." Those for words truly help me when me emotions (steroids) get the best of me.
Love has centered me many times over, whether its a simple text, or someonebringing me coffee in bed so I can have a moment before I start the rough morning of IVs and clearing the lungs. I accept that this is the life I was giving, I accept that I was giving these people to guide me, I accept the emotions that come when I least expect it and its truly ok to feel that way. I forgive. Forgiveness is such a powerful thing. I forgive myself for beating me up and tearing me down, I forgive people who dont understand, I forgive moments of frustration. And I am present. I am alive, I am breathing, and whatever I am doing, wherever I am at, who ever I am with, I am present in that moment. The phone can wait, technology can wait and that current moment is where I need to be.
Many times over this has helped center me and remind that guilt is a very real emotion that can come up, I have the choice to act on it. Yes sometimes I do, but then I remind myself I have such a beautiful and wonderful life. I am so loved, and I love back. Thats truly makes this life worth it.
Love Y'all
~Poppet
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