Very few of you know this but I need to under go more testing for my blood. I probably have told 6 of you? Probably not even that many. I am sure most of you are thinking how much more testing are you going to put yourself through? Well, as much as it takes. I have dreams that need to be reach and something as stupid as blood disorders can't stop me. Really I am so close to Premed again I have applied for schools! If you know me someone stupid disease can't stop me i am way to stubborn!
Before yall go off on a rant and in the word of Wonder Woman "its not stupid" OK to me it is! This is why! I deal with my heart, my lungs, and dysautonomia. My heart does weird things and i have grown accustomed to palpitations. Once upon it time it would happen and i'd freak out and call my Momma and think it was something serious. Now chest pain and palpitations is normal life. Lungs? Well I am always short of breath. I can never breath well and I have grown use to it. Lets not forget about my central line with the rash, the stitches, and the blisters. Oh you can also scroll back and read about my ICU visit.
This all lead to me thinking. We get use to a certain amount of pain and misery. It becomes a part of our lives we get use to it and it becomes normal. It finally gets to the point it no longer bothers and worries you. I know I am not the only one living in pain, I am sure at one point we all become use to living in pain and just write it off as "normal." I personally have gotten use to being sick, I am use to chronic chest pain, shortness of breath, easy bruising, and I just smile and say I am OK. But really I am OK. However... Should we just get use to a certain amount of misery? OR should we continue to fight for answers in hopes that one day we can feel well? I personally fight for answers and the right "cocktail" so that I can lead a "misery free" life.
Today wasn't so bad health wise and that I am thankful for! I do not care that i take almost 10 medications to have a good day! I feel OK today and I am thankful for that! I will never know what its like to feel healthy and i really do not care anymore. I am glad i am at my range of OK, I am glad I am able to do what I can do, and I will always fights for answers to achieve my dreams and my goals. :-)
I am not sure where I was fully going with this but thats OK. I am going hop off and get this dressing changed and smile at the beautiful day I had even though it rained AGAIN!! lol Maybe 2 people will get that!
Love Yall :-)
Poppet ~
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