Saline and Summer

While I am waiting for an event to start, I figured I'd up date this because I've been pretty MIA recently. Ive been grinding out my game to get legendaries. I ordered a plush from the game and gave Wonder Woman the sacred and blessed duty of keeping him safe and loved. I love those silly things. Their literally a cactus that shoot spikes, and have the typical cheshire sharp tooth grin.

I knew this festival was coming, it is PVP season even though I let that slide a little bit for the festival and leveling characters but going into this week I wasn't sure where id be. Home or the hospital. I saw Superman recently and he put me on 4 liters of fluid and it was a bit difficult to get that at home. We finally got this worked out and was a popsicle all week. Freezing cold wrapped in blankets whining thru the week. I made it work and I got to stay home. Also in the midst of all this I got to meet my twin!! I have no idea what her super hero name will be yet. I stopped by on the way home. One of the girls that knows me told me how well and healthy I was looking after I got all this news that were looking at an admit if we cant get my IVs sorted at home. My PFs are low and still not great, but my heart rate is down again.

My resting heart rate was about 120. Not sure what is is now as I am out of triple A batteries but I dont feel my heart pounding out of my chest. So since resting was that high, when I was upright or talking it was hitting a bit higher then that. Which a bit unnerving and the side effects of all this is a bit unnerving. Also my lungs were overly congested and dehydrated themselves (why I hate summer). So it looks like I am in the house for the rest of the summer. Its just to risky to go outside it seems like.

I am not sure what the rest of the summer looks like as of now but I must get to this event of mine.

Love Yall
~Poppet 

Yoga

As you saw in the last blog summer is here and it brings its own struggles. It all has recently caught up with me. I have been getting increasingly short of breath to the point after I went food shopping with Wonder Woman I literally sat on the floor to catch my breath. Its not fun. That was sorta the kick off the entire weekend. I was talking to my friend and my breathe was so short, I was exhausted, and I went to get Wonder Woman. I couldn't even carry a pitcher I was so short of breath. So we started antibiotics. They seem to help for now. Which all this made me think of the time I was helping someone on the game I play. Its one of those you can play with a bunch of people all over the world. He told me I had such a positive attitude cause I do yoga every day and I swear that I am just an average and he kept telling me over and over good for me for being positive and wouldn't accept my wonderful life. I did stop talking to him.

But heres the things. If anyone else would get up and do yoga or exercise in general they just be an average person trying to stay healthy. But for me?? A person battling a terminal illness im a positive thinker. Why is it so different for me?? Because im ill?? Because we have such a mindset that someone who lives with such a devastating illness is nothing more then that?? This has clearly stuck with me and I stopped trying to change his mind. And as summer has start to roll in and the struggle to do things has come along with its made me wonder. Am I just being positive?? The answer is no.

I am doing what I need to do for my health. I am taking control of my life and doing what I need to do to be healthy. I am trying to break this barrier that because I am ill doesn't mean I am so poor person thats been dealt a bad hand in life. We need to empower people who are chronically to live and not just exist. What is life if we just exist?? Why aren't more people empowering us and learning from us how truly beautiful life is if we just slow down to experience it?? Yes our lives our extremely different from abled bodied people. Some of us our soul job is to take care of our bodies. It does make us different but it doesn't make us any less then some one else. I have always said in this blog my CF and POTS is just my something extra in life like we all have. Mine is just more evident as this stage.

Why did yoga start all this thinking?? You see I love yoga, I always have. I use to do yoga before I went to work. I use to do pilates as well. I was talking to Wonder Woman recently about my love for yoga and she pointed out its something I have always loved. Even before I got sick. So why should I stray away even though im connected to all these tubes. Then Z one of my long time friends treated me as the same girl who need 13 years ago. He was curios about the art it wasn't "aren't you to sick for that??" it was yes!! Id love to get into it. And those are the people to surround yourself with. The people who love you and support you for you not your illness.

Love Y'all
~Poppet